You know... when I started this blog it was because my sister thought it would be a good way for me to put down on paper... so to speak... how I was feeling about my husband's deployment... Also what it is like for a 'single' mother to deal with daily issues and for everyone else to see what it is like for me... I've come to once conclusion... MY LIFE IS BORING...
The highlight of my day is when I go to Walmart... And lately I don't even feel like doing that. Doctors are actually getting worried about me... think I am holding too much inside and not dealing with daily stresses like I should... Not sure what I'm supposed to do about it.. can't change the fact that I am stressed about things or stop the things from happening... Also think that I may be suffering from depression. This is an option that worries me... mainly because I don't know anything about depression. When I hear the word, I think of sadness, crying, woe is me kind of stuff... I don't feel sad and I don't cry and why would I woe is me... Everybody else around here is in the same boat and I can honestly say I'm not wallowing in the fact that my husband is not home... I was actually looking forward to the deployment... So how am I depressed??
The family psychiatrist that I am seeing for Zack and his diagnosis's... seems to think that because I have absolutely no desire to do anything that I am depressed. There may be something wrong but I don't know if depression is it. She thinks because I don't want to leave my home everyday and go shopping or even window shopping that I am depressed. Because I don't feel like doing the dishes every single day, I'm depressed. I feed, water, dress, bath... my child and my dogs on a daily basis or as needed... I don't bath them all everyday but I make sure they are clean and have clean clothes and eat regularly... but I don't feel like doing the dishes. I do admit, I have absolutely no energy... I am tired all of the time. I've gone in to have blood work done and so far everything is normal... but yet, I am tired and sleep everyday... I take at least one 2 hour nap daily... sometimes I get a second nap in in the evening for an hour or so.
So if anyone out there can give me some warning signs or things to look for for depression I would really appreciate it. I just wish they (all the doctors) could just figure out what is wrong with me, because I do think something is wrong... I'm just tired of waiting for the right result to come in!
Hope everyone has a beautiful day!!!
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